6 minutes on the rollers….

and I feel like I just hit the road for 20 miles. My legs are spongy. I’m seriously out of breath and lungs burn a bit from the air temp in the basement. For someone who used to be able to propel himself at speeds approaching 50 miles per hour around a velodrome, this is a hard pill to swallow.

I just have to remind myself that I am only 3.5 months out from transplant right? It’s good to get back on the bike, even if it is for only a few minutes a couple times a week.

Maybe next time I will be able to go for 10 minutes….

As good as I feel, I’m still not normal….

Whatever that really is. I have been doing a lot of work lately in the basement helping out with Litsa's space and getting the basement organized and de-crapified. Basements are very much like attics in that they seem to breed junk. Kinda like some species of frogs in fact, even though all the junk in the basement is of a single gender, they spontaneously change sex to create another generation of crap. And I have been sore. Not sore like I have hurt myself, but sore like I am doing work; and I'm not sure if it's a good sore or not. Last Monday I slept a lot, and that was after my first week back. I have been getting less tired in the morning and I find it easier to get up as it goes by – but I still find it difficult to do the things I want to, and right now I'm just doing simple things.

I did put some hydraulic lifters on the hood of my Bronco, so I could ditch the custom twobafour support, and they work awesome! I am going to get some for the hatch on the back of the top too. I bought a ton of stuff for the Bronco, a complete set of gaskets/weather stripping, hood pins, new door mechanisms and catch spindles. Now I just have to get some of the essentials.

The point is though, even this stuff is still hard, cumbersome and quite fatiguing. And I'm not a big fan of it. I'm ready to be back to normal and being able to do what I want to do. I know it's only been 3.5 months, but that's a long time. I'm just glad everything has gone so well – if this was really dragging out it would be far more difficult. The strangest thing lately has been the fatigue in my legs, I really felt it the other day going up the stairs to my office at home – well there, and the frickin' horse ramp at work (yes, horse ramp – part the building used to be a livery).

Oh well, be patient right? There's no real hurry… yada yada yada…. Tired of being tired, and it's making me grumpy…. 

1 week down; 1756 more to go…

After my first week back, I am tired. Very tired. I worked a bit longer today than I have all week, and I am paying for it. My energy is gone, sapped from my bones.

Don't you know I'm pooped?!

It's been good to be back, and get see people again and do some work – but it is a bit more strenuous than I had anticipated – but I'm glad that I am working back into it again. It is definitely time to get back in the hair and start wearing down the skates on my mouse. I have only been putting time in during the first half of the day, but I have accomplished more than I thought I would. Which is good on a couple of fronts. At least I know I still got it, and I now know how much I can push myself (at this stage of the game) before I start to run out of gas.

I'm going to continue with the morning gig for another week, and see how I feel by the end of the week before I make any decisions on going back full time and what that time frame might be. I just might start by coming in full days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday to start with, or something of the like. Just so I don't take a nose dive.

Oh yeah, it's freakin' snowing!

Yup. April 5th, and there is snow on the bloody ground! Ya know, that's just not right. I was wanting to work on the Bronco some more this weekend, but it's cold. And our garage is not heated. That adds up to no workin' on the Bronco. Oh well.

There's really nothing else to report, my next clinic visit isn't until the end of the month, and I only have to go get labs once a week now, so….

Dunno. I guess that's it.

Lately it’s occurred to me what a long strange trip it’s been

cubevilleI have begun to think about this odd and miraculous turn of events. Especially now that I have started back at work again, if only it be part-time. I have become so accustomed to posting here, that now that I am faced with the reality that things are slowing down and heading back to the realms of normalcy – that I may actually run out of things to say. At least as to how it may pertain to my transplant. That’s not to say it hasn’t been beating me in the face like some t’d off Salmon trying not get eatin’ by a bear named Boog – just lately, it has been a bit more… strange.

The thing that still keeps coming up is that folks find it strange/odd that they didn’t know I was sick or needed a transplant.

Taken one way, it could be that I was the sickest healthy person you would ever meet. More often than not, I looked fine. At times I was a bit on the Mellow-Yellow side, but unless I was sick and on my way to the hospital – you wouldn’t really know I was that sick. Some people made the observation that I did not generally look well, but most did not.

Now, taken another way, it could be that some folks find it odd that I didn’t really talk about it. Which to me is strange. It’s not like the fact that I needed a Liver Transplant to keep on living would just pop up in normal conversation, it seems like a good way to kill someones happy feelings…. So I didn’t talk about it. Some people knew, and they found out through various avenues – but as a general rule I said very little about it. Call it me being private, guarded or just plain in denial. Whatever. More than any other reason, I didn’t talk about because I didn’t want to. It wasn’t anything I wanted to do, it didn’t seem like it was fun thing to have to go through – and I was more able to be myself and concentrate on the tasks at hand without dwelling on this ominous thing I was going to have to go through.

I’ve changed that a bit; if you hadn’t noticed. I’m not the same person I was 3 months ago. I’m not going to say I’m a new man, that’s a bit overdone and quite a misnomer. But it would be just as false to say that this whole experience has not made me different. I haven’t formulated it all just yet – I’m still just trying to get back to healthy and normal; whatever the hell that is.

I do find myself struggling with what, if anything to post. Flogging English is easy, I yap about all things there – but here; it’s different. The topics are more focused, and centrally located to the fact that I am a transplant recipient – one that has an amazingly good run at it so far. And it’s just that run that is making the postings here a bit more infrequent; which leads me back to the strangeness of it. The lack of focus? Or a void in an activity that I have found to be amazingly therapeutic during some of the most trying portions of my recovery. I also find far too easy to slip back into habits that I would prefer not to slip back into.

I haven’t had more than 3 sodas in the last 3 months. 3. I used to drink at least 10 a week, and usually 90% of it was Mt. Dew. Yeee Haaaww! I have made the decision to not drink that stuff anymore – not even diet. I want to shed pounds, and keep my health in a much better state than where I left it before. So far so good. But I still stare down the bottles of Dew at the Country Fair every time I pass the door by to go for a Tea or Propel. There are other habits too, and other things I would like to get back into the habit off. Riding my damned bike is one of them. I used to draw such energy from riding back in the day. It’s been a long time since I have really ridden my bike.

meh

After my first day at work officially, I am tired – even if it was only a half day. I’m a bit sore too, and I found myself limping a bit on the right side as I walked to the car after work. I’m not sure what that’s all about. Back to work I go, primarily in the mornings, since I am far more energetic and attentive in the am. We’ll see how it goes eh?