I can still remember thinking that I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle another transplant. Even as I was being prepped for surgery in August I was worrying about how hard it was the first time and how the surgeons made it seem like the first transplant was a cake-walk by comparison. In many ways they were right. My first transplant was much easier than the second, but I have to consider how much healthier I was the first go around. Funny right? Here I am talking about being “healthy” in reference to having to have a liver transplant. Thing was, I was healthier then. I was riding my bike a lot, and I don’t just mean the 5 miles to work and home, I mean going on a few centuries and numerous half centuries (which for those who don’t know, a century is 100 miles).
Things were a lot more dire this time around, and my recovery reminds me of that every single day. I have equally as many good days as bad days still. Fatigue is still my arch nemesis. He’s a dick. There are a lot of things I was hoping to have started to be able to do by now, and I just can’t yet – and that is sometimes a real bear to wrap my mind around. Realistically, I’m doing very well and I have an excellent set of lab numbers every week to drive that point home, but just the same I was still hoping to be back on my bike by now. Maybe not riding half centuries yet, but at least being able to crank out a few 10 mile rides here and there. But nope, I’m not there yet.
Happily I can say that I’m starting to sleep better and wake up rested more frequently than I had been and the night sweats that had been plaguing me are becoming the exception these days. I’ve started a couple of new medications to help with both sleep and to get me off of the opiate based pain killers. Mirtazapine is what my doc has prescribed me to take for sleep, and so far it’s helped a good deal in getting me to sleep. Staying there is another thing all together, but this seemed to help a little bit with that as well. I haven’t noticed anything funky, and it doesn’t cause to me to have crazy ass dreams like some of the OTC sleeping pills do – bonus!
Getting back to work full-time has been a struggle too, and I’m still not there yet. It’s still pretty easy for me to “over do it” as far as activity and days in a row I am active for a good amount of time. After which, I get treated to being just flat out exhausted, like tired down to my bones exhausted. Not much fun, but it is improving so I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been working part-time for closing in on 3 months here soon. Getting back to work has been good though, and it’s good to be around people who are not my dog.